Navigating the Shadows: Understanding Toxic Positivity in the Yoga World
In a world where positivity reigns supreme, it's easy to fall into the trap of toxic positivity, especially within the yoga community. But what exactly is toxic positivity, and why is it something we need to be wary of?
Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or challenging a situation may be, one must maintain a positive attitude at all costs. It's the tendency to invalidate any negative emotions or experiences, brushing them aside with statements like "just be positive" or "look on the bright side." While positivity in itself isn't harmful, the toxic aspect arises when it denies the validity of genuine emotions and suppresses necessary processes of healing and growth.
In the yoga world, where the emphasis is often placed on mindfulness, inner peace, and positivity, toxic positivity can easily take root. Yogis may feel pressure to always exude a sense of tranquility and bliss, even when facing difficulties or traumas. This pressure can lead to a culture of spiritual bypassing, where individuals use spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid confronting their true feelings and experiences.
I fell victim to this culture before I ever found the yoga community. Trauma doesn't always have a direct path. When I was younger and things were too happy, or things were just going "too well" I would start to freak out that someone was going to die. That's on trauma. When you lose close family or friends from a young age it can take hold and make you dread or even fear "the good times." I then "stayed positive" becauce maybe I lost people before because I wasn't grateful enough. I felt like if I was negative or sad for one moment the universe would take someone or something else from me. Even with pregnancy loss I refused to complain about pregnancy for fear I would lose my precious baby again. So understand I know the journey isn't easy or even clear but living in toxically positive mindset is hindering.
After the death of my father a few years ago I finally allowed myself to let go of the positivity. I let my loud and inappropriate humor take over full force, not advice I'm giving, please note, but it helped me find the real raw version of myself. Being a member of the DDC (dead dad club) isn't something you're part of without a lot of dark humor. There were many times I would have someone stuck in their trap of positivity tell me I "should feel grateful to have had an amazing dad such as him, some don't have such a man to grieve." How I wish it was only one time someone has the audacity to say something like that or that "at least you had him for 37 years, some are not so lucky." First of all, I will never feel guilty for the love of my father. He was a dad to all and an amazing man. He was AMAZING and why the fuck should I only get 37 years with him? Secondly, none of these statements in the history of ever has made someone "feel better." Being present with someone and saying I'm sorry is perfect. If you don't know what to say, say "I don't know what to say to help and I feel powerless but I'm here!
The negative effects of toxic positivity are profound. By denying our authentic emotions, we suppress important signals from our psyche that indicate areas needing attention and resolution. This can lead to a buildup of unresolved issues, eventually manifesting as anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges. Moreover, toxic positivity can alienate those who are struggling, creating a sense of isolation and shame around their genuine experiences.
So how can we navigate the shadows of toxic positivity within the yoga world and beyond? Here are some journal prompts to help you evaluate your relationship with this topic:
Reflect on a time when you felt pressured to maintain a positive attitude despite experiencing challenging emotions. How did you navigate this situation? Did you feel supported in expressing your true feelings, or did you feel compelled to suppress them?
Consider the messages you've received from the yoga community or spiritual teachings regarding positivity and inner peace. How do these messages align with your own experiences of navigating difficult emotions? Are there any discrepancies or conflicts between the two?
Think about a time when you witnessed someone else expressing vulnerability or discomfort within the yoga community. How was their experience received by others? Did you notice any tendencies toward dismissing or invalidating their feelings in favor of promoting positivity?
Take a moment to check in with yourself and acknowledge your current emotional state. Are there any feelings or experiences that you've been avoiding or suppressing? How might you give yourself permission to honor and explore these emotions in a healthy way?
Consider the role of authenticity in your spiritual practice. How can you cultivate a more balanced approach that honors both the light and the shadows within yourself and others?
By engaging with these journal prompts, you can begin to unravel the layers of toxic positivity and cultivate a more authentic and compassionate relationship with yourself and those around you. Remember that true healing and growth often require us to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, including the messy and uncomfortable parts. In doing so, we can create a more inclusive and supportive community that honors the complexity of our shared journey.