Have you ever felt called to hibernate?
Cocoon and rest?
When the world began restrictions and shut downs because of COVID in 2020 I felt like a part of my world shut down forever. My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer the week the world shut down and a part of me and our family died that week. Losing my father less than 10 months later I had to learn to navigate this new world without my superhero. Without the most patient man in the world who solved all my problems with his calm voice.
Grief enveloped me into the rough stages and I lived in the stages of anger and despair far longer than anyone should. Taking time away from sharing my yoga practice came shortly after my father died. The yoga studio, my home, was closing. COVID, among other factors made shutting our doors forever the only solution. At first I told myself I would just take 3 months off teaching group classes. A quarter stretched into 6 months and that went to a year and beyond. I had loyal, private clients who were happy to have one on one attention in their homes for yoga and this kept my teaching small and intimate.
My personal yoga practice never faltered, though it became very still and reserved. Yoga is not just the asana (the physical practice) and when I say I met all the ugly versions of myself on the mat every evening I mean it. The anger stage of grief felt so heavy yet so familiar that some nights I cried out of frustration; I wanted to feel ANYTHING else. Slowly. Breath by breath. Tear by tear. I slowly came out of my grief/anger cloud. Grief still holding me solid in her grip I finally began to let the anger go. How? I wish I knew. I wish I could pin point when or how but in my heart I know it was the fluid act of daily breathing. Sitting down every night and trying to do nothing but connect with my breath for 30 minutes. Like a stream makes a groove in a rock, I only escaped my anger through breathing every night and searching deep for forgiveness in my soul. Forgiveness for myself because who I am in anger is the person I hate the most.
So, on this day, 27 months after I said goodbye to teaching group classes, I am so happy to announce my return. Return to a home where I'm understood, loved and safe. Watching one of your closest friends create a space she's envisioned for years is one of the best feelings. I remember sitting and journaling our dreams for the future and Jen would describe in detail what she wanted and how she wanted people, our community, to feel in this space. And this weekend that becomes a reality. So please join us this weekend for the opening ceremony at
Satori Yoga Shala. Drop me a note for more details ❤️