Spring solstice; equal amounts of daylight and darkness. There is so much beauty, so much wisdom and so much insight. Yet on this lovely evening of the first day of Spring my heart hangs heavy as it always does. This day most see as rebirth I view as death and loss.
This day is hard for so many reasons and one of the greatest is that fewer and fewer people in my life know what today is. Today would have been the 40th birthday of my best friend. Someone who I knew and loved before I had memories. Someone who left this earth tragically from a food allergy at 13. Losing my best friend, my inspiration, my voice as a young teenager was devastating but it made me grow in ways I never could have without this experience of grief. Normal teenage worries seemed trivial and minute. Yes, it has been more years she has been gone than she was alive but the pain is as real as the day she left me. So on this evening, yes, I am journaling what I want to let go of, what I want to find balance in the next season. My crystals are out to be charged and I’ve energetically cleansed the house. But tonight is different as it always is. I welcome Spring with the knowledge that death and birth are the same.