Worry

Worrying will never change the outcome.
đź–¤
~Unknown

What’s your relationship with worry?

Nine years ago I starting worrying a specific fear. A loved one of mine was diagnosed with a condition that could continue to reoccur. There was a 1% chance that it could be incurable. So for 9 years I let this worry sit on my shoulders like a heavy weight. Panicking the minute doctor or hospital visits happened. Putting myself through mental torture of “what could happen.” Imagining all the scenarios that could go wrong and just how awful it WOULD feel.
And then it happened. On Saturday the 1% chance became a reality. And you know what?
The pain wasn’t ANY worse than the worry of it happening. It felt just as awful as the dark, heavy mental prison of worry I had been creating with worry.

And honestly after the news settled in my cells, I felt lighter. I started to focus on what joy and presence I was experiencing with this person. What tiny moments of humor and joy we shared. Even with the heaviness of the diagnosis, I felt lighter and MORE joy. What if. What if I had lived the last 9 years in joy and presence instead of in worry?

So as our intention in yoga today we became aware of where we worry. You may worry when you go into a pose that you may hurt yourself, or maybe you worry if you don’t do EVERY pose or EVERY vinyasa that you aren’t “doing yoga.” When worries popped up we redirected our attention to the breath. The focus on the breath is the vehicle to the present.

Looking at the beautiful full moon early this morning I felt comforted and connected. I know I’ll “forget” and I’ll worry again but I hope I can remember this feeling and gently remind myself to silence the worry and look for the joy.
đź–¤


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